More precious than any birthday gift is the love Jesus has for me. He has helped me so much, and when I did not have friends, Jesus stood beside me. And when my panic attacks were terrible, and my depression was crushing, my God did not abandon me. I am thankful for him because he does not change, and he has saved my life.
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18
No longer am I consumed with negative, anxious thoughts. I do not have to carry my worries about my health, about breathing, about passing out, about eating, or about physical weakness. I confess my sin of worry, of pride and control, and give these needs to the Lord. Instead of speaking negatively, I now try to only offer comforting, kind, encouraging words to others.
I feel lighter with the absence of depression. I am not perfect, nor cured, nor without fault, but I am able to drive, travel, spend time with others without being consumed with debilitating anxiety over my health or over the possibility of having a panic attack.
I can make plans for the future and live in comfort and peace knowing the Lord will be with me wherever I go, and when troubles come, or when I am in a contented season, the Lord will be my strength and protector. He has delivered me from all my troubles and fears (Psalm 34). He has given me strength and good health, comfort, peace, forgiveness and love. He has so generously given me all things (2 Corinthians 9:8).
“Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains,
your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.” Psalm 36:5-9
I am still an addict to fantasy, even though I scarcely touch it, because the evil is in my heart. Even if I abstain from fantasy and imaginings, if I relinquished self-control, I would be a whore to my addiction again. The Lord is so good that he has shown me this wickedness and helped me to repent.
I am so grateful for his ever-present help.